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Skit Ideas Not Even Good Enough for Saturday Night Live
Jimmy Guterman (website, blog, twitter) writes, edits, and produces things.
Thanks for the welcome, Mark. It's good to be back. I hope to deliver posts with substance. This, though, won't be one of them.
The Internet loves lists and it loves witnessing people get embarrassed. So let me start my stint with a list about a failure of mine.
I recently got a new Mac at work, and since I'm one of those losers who needs to have everything he has on a local hard disk (you never know when you're going to have to watch a scene from This Is Spinal Tap right now), I ported everything over from my Mac (now my son's) to the new one. But the new one has a slightly smaller hard disk than the old one, so I had to go through some directories to purge some files. A few big files were easy to get rid of (I am never going to listen to Metal Machine Music again), but I wound up looking at some directories I hadn't seen in a long, long time. How long ago? Before Axl Rose started recording Chinese Democracy long ago. In one such directory, there was a file called SNL.DOC. What could that be? I double-clicked.
In the mid-90s, I worked for Delphi, an early proprietary online service. We were Rent-a-Wreck to AOL's Hertz. We had some significant firsts (one day I'll tell the story of how we talked the Rolling Stones' reps into making us the band's official online service for free) and we were briefly overfunded (News Corp. bought us during one of its intermittent sessions of new-media panic), but the venture failed. For a brief time, before I went solo, I was living in Massachusetts (where I still am) while my job had migrated to Manhattan, so I went back and forth from home to job a few times each week. This went on for only a few months, but it felt like a long time at the time. Hey, that is a long time to be away from your family.
Anyway, from my hotel I could see the NBC building, and one gets bored sitting alone in a hotel room at night, so I started writing ideas for NBC shows. (Then as now, I didn't watch much TV, so I got most of my story notions from the ads for the shows I saw around Times Square.) One night, after a session of Coca-Cola and sushi, I scribbled several dozen ideas for Saturday Night Live. Fueled by insomnia, homesickness, caffeine, sugar, and probably mercury, I thought so much of my ideas that the next day I snuck into the floor at 30 Rockefeller Plaza where the show's offices were and dropped off a package. I returned to the Delphi office, certain that the phone would ring ... right ... now.
The file SNL.DOC contained my proposal to Saturday Night Live. It sketched out 36 skits. Most of them were sub-mediocre at best. The worst involved the viewers' knowing what McHale's Navy was, a dubious proposition. Here are the least bad of the pitches:
Much like a driving test, a teen couple that wants to become sexually active has to pass a test with a tester in the bed with them, grading and commenting on their every move.Hollywood executives convene a pitch meeting for the Speed sequel, with ridiculous concepts, such as Sloth, in which the bus must stay under 10 mph.
Folks sit in a movie audience and their entertainment is not the film itself, but trying to guess who on the screen is gay.
Chris Farley is a Mary Kay salesman. (Hey, this was a long time ago.)
A couple eats lunch at a McDonald's set up like a high-end eatery; they ask the waiter questions like "How is the root beer today?"
A Schindler's List parody called Schneider's List, based on the character from the sitcom One Day at a Time
An ATM dispenses items other than money, such as taxis, advice, and photos with NBC celebrities
Folks watch absurdly interactive TV, where viewers can do wild things with a remote.
A bona-fide emergency happens on the set of ER and disasters ensue.
The joke, if there was one, was on me. I hadn't watched SNL regularly since Emily Litella was a recurrent character, so I had no idea whether these ideas for skits would have made any sense for the show. I was surprised the day after I dropped off the package when I didn't hear back. I was disappointed the second day. By the third day, I was on to the next scheme.
eric seiger dermatology
<b>News</b> of the World: The Best for <b>News</b>, Showbiz and Sport Exclusives <b>...</b>
Britain's biggest-selling newspaper featuring the best news, showbiz and sport exclusives - updated 24/7. videos and pictures of celebrities, the latest entertainment and sport news from the News of The World.
msnbc <b>news</b> | TrendyTwits
mediabistro.com'Joe' hosts get dramaticVarietyMika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough, anchors of MSNBC's 'Morning Joe,' are developing an.
Sam's Club to offer iPhone, iPad | iLounge <b>News</b>
iLounge news discussing the Sam's Club to offer iPhone, iPad. Find more iPad news from leading independent iPod, iPhone, and iPad site.
Dr. eric seiger
Gawker Media Community Policy
These are our sites, and we reserve the right to moderate the discussion. The basic rules are standard: An attack on authors or other commenters is unlikely to make you popular. Think before you disparage social or ethnic groups. Don't spam. Don't post pornography or copyrighted imagery. Stay on topic.
That said, the community policy of Gawker Media is forgiving. If your criticism is articulate, it will likely get through. We dole it out; we can take it. What do we mean by articulate? Support your point with argument, facts and citations. Good grammar and spelling also help.
Got questions? Need answers? See our FAQ and site-specific community guidelines.
Close
Skit Ideas Not Even Good Enough for Saturday Night Live
Jimmy Guterman (website, blog, twitter) writes, edits, and produces things.
Thanks for the welcome, Mark. It's good to be back. I hope to deliver posts with substance. This, though, won't be one of them.
The Internet loves lists and it loves witnessing people get embarrassed. So let me start my stint with a list about a failure of mine.
I recently got a new Mac at work, and since I'm one of those losers who needs to have everything he has on a local hard disk (you never know when you're going to have to watch a scene from This Is Spinal Tap right now), I ported everything over from my Mac (now my son's) to the new one. But the new one has a slightly smaller hard disk than the old one, so I had to go through some directories to purge some files. A few big files were easy to get rid of (I am never going to listen to Metal Machine Music again), but I wound up looking at some directories I hadn't seen in a long, long time. How long ago? Before Axl Rose started recording Chinese Democracy long ago. In one such directory, there was a file called SNL.DOC. What could that be? I double-clicked.
In the mid-90s, I worked for Delphi, an early proprietary online service. We were Rent-a-Wreck to AOL's Hertz. We had some significant firsts (one day I'll tell the story of how we talked the Rolling Stones' reps into making us the band's official online service for free) and we were briefly overfunded (News Corp. bought us during one of its intermittent sessions of new-media panic), but the venture failed. For a brief time, before I went solo, I was living in Massachusetts (where I still am) while my job had migrated to Manhattan, so I went back and forth from home to job a few times each week. This went on for only a few months, but it felt like a long time at the time. Hey, that is a long time to be away from your family.
Anyway, from my hotel I could see the NBC building, and one gets bored sitting alone in a hotel room at night, so I started writing ideas for NBC shows. (Then as now, I didn't watch much TV, so I got most of my story notions from the ads for the shows I saw around Times Square.) One night, after a session of Coca-Cola and sushi, I scribbled several dozen ideas for Saturday Night Live. Fueled by insomnia, homesickness, caffeine, sugar, and probably mercury, I thought so much of my ideas that the next day I snuck into the floor at 30 Rockefeller Plaza where the show's offices were and dropped off a package. I returned to the Delphi office, certain that the phone would ring ... right ... now.
The file SNL.DOC contained my proposal to Saturday Night Live. It sketched out 36 skits. Most of them were sub-mediocre at best. The worst involved the viewers' knowing what McHale's Navy was, a dubious proposition. Here are the least bad of the pitches:
Much like a driving test, a teen couple that wants to become sexually active has to pass a test with a tester in the bed with them, grading and commenting on their every move.Hollywood executives convene a pitch meeting for the Speed sequel, with ridiculous concepts, such as Sloth, in which the bus must stay under 10 mph.
Folks sit in a movie audience and their entertainment is not the film itself, but trying to guess who on the screen is gay.
Chris Farley is a Mary Kay salesman. (Hey, this was a long time ago.)
A couple eats lunch at a McDonald's set up like a high-end eatery; they ask the waiter questions like "How is the root beer today?"
A Schindler's List parody called Schneider's List, based on the character from the sitcom One Day at a Time
An ATM dispenses items other than money, such as taxis, advice, and photos with NBC celebrities
Folks watch absurdly interactive TV, where viewers can do wild things with a remote.
A bona-fide emergency happens on the set of ER and disasters ensue.
The joke, if there was one, was on me. I hadn't watched SNL regularly since Emily Litella was a recurrent character, so I had no idea whether these ideas for skits would have made any sense for the show. I was surprised the day after I dropped off the package when I didn't hear back. I was disappointed the second day. By the third day, I was on to the next scheme.
eric seiger dermatology
<b>News</b> of the World: The Best for <b>News</b>, Showbiz and Sport Exclusives <b>...</b>
Britain's biggest-selling newspaper featuring the best news, showbiz and sport exclusives - updated 24/7. videos and pictures of celebrities, the latest entertainment and sport news from the News of The World.
msnbc <b>news</b> | TrendyTwits
mediabistro.com'Joe' hosts get dramaticVarietyMika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough, anchors of MSNBC's 'Morning Joe,' are developing an.
Sam's Club to offer iPhone, iPad | iLounge <b>News</b>
iLounge news discussing the Sam's Club to offer iPhone, iPad. Find more iPad news from leading independent iPod, iPhone, and iPad site.
skin
and vein center
eric seiger dermatologist
eric seiger dermatologist
<b>News</b> of the World: The Best for <b>News</b>, Showbiz and Sport Exclusives <b>...</b>
Britain's biggest-selling newspaper featuring the best news, showbiz and sport exclusives - updated 24/7. videos and pictures of celebrities, the latest entertainment and sport news from the News of The World.
msnbc <b>news</b> | TrendyTwits
mediabistro.com'Joe' hosts get dramaticVarietyMika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough, anchors of MSNBC's 'Morning Joe,' are developing an.
Sam's Club to offer iPhone, iPad | iLounge <b>News</b>
iLounge news discussing the Sam's Club to offer iPhone, iPad. Find more iPad news from leading independent iPod, iPhone, and iPad site.
Dr. eric seiger
Gawker Media Community Policy
These are our sites, and we reserve the right to moderate the discussion. The basic rules are standard: An attack on authors or other commenters is unlikely to make you popular. Think before you disparage social or ethnic groups. Don't spam. Don't post pornography or copyrighted imagery. Stay on topic.
That said, the community policy of Gawker Media is forgiving. If your criticism is articulate, it will likely get through. We dole it out; we can take it. What do we mean by articulate? Support your point with argument, facts and citations. Good grammar and spelling also help.
Got questions? Need answers? See our FAQ and site-specific community guidelines.
Close
Skit Ideas Not Even Good Enough for Saturday Night Live
Jimmy Guterman (website, blog, twitter) writes, edits, and produces things.
Thanks for the welcome, Mark. It's good to be back. I hope to deliver posts with substance. This, though, won't be one of them.
The Internet loves lists and it loves witnessing people get embarrassed. So let me start my stint with a list about a failure of mine.
I recently got a new Mac at work, and since I'm one of those losers who needs to have everything he has on a local hard disk (you never know when you're going to have to watch a scene from This Is Spinal Tap right now), I ported everything over from my Mac (now my son's) to the new one. But the new one has a slightly smaller hard disk than the old one, so I had to go through some directories to purge some files. A few big files were easy to get rid of (I am never going to listen to Metal Machine Music again), but I wound up looking at some directories I hadn't seen in a long, long time. How long ago? Before Axl Rose started recording Chinese Democracy long ago. In one such directory, there was a file called SNL.DOC. What could that be? I double-clicked.
In the mid-90s, I worked for Delphi, an early proprietary online service. We were Rent-a-Wreck to AOL's Hertz. We had some significant firsts (one day I'll tell the story of how we talked the Rolling Stones' reps into making us the band's official online service for free) and we were briefly overfunded (News Corp. bought us during one of its intermittent sessions of new-media panic), but the venture failed. For a brief time, before I went solo, I was living in Massachusetts (where I still am) while my job had migrated to Manhattan, so I went back and forth from home to job a few times each week. This went on for only a few months, but it felt like a long time at the time. Hey, that is a long time to be away from your family.
Anyway, from my hotel I could see the NBC building, and one gets bored sitting alone in a hotel room at night, so I started writing ideas for NBC shows. (Then as now, I didn't watch much TV, so I got most of my story notions from the ads for the shows I saw around Times Square.) One night, after a session of Coca-Cola and sushi, I scribbled several dozen ideas for Saturday Night Live. Fueled by insomnia, homesickness, caffeine, sugar, and probably mercury, I thought so much of my ideas that the next day I snuck into the floor at 30 Rockefeller Plaza where the show's offices were and dropped off a package. I returned to the Delphi office, certain that the phone would ring ... right ... now.
The file SNL.DOC contained my proposal to Saturday Night Live. It sketched out 36 skits. Most of them were sub-mediocre at best. The worst involved the viewers' knowing what McHale's Navy was, a dubious proposition. Here are the least bad of the pitches:
Much like a driving test, a teen couple that wants to become sexually active has to pass a test with a tester in the bed with them, grading and commenting on their every move.Hollywood executives convene a pitch meeting for the Speed sequel, with ridiculous concepts, such as Sloth, in which the bus must stay under 10 mph.
Folks sit in a movie audience and their entertainment is not the film itself, but trying to guess who on the screen is gay.
Chris Farley is a Mary Kay salesman. (Hey, this was a long time ago.)
A couple eats lunch at a McDonald's set up like a high-end eatery; they ask the waiter questions like "How is the root beer today?"
A Schindler's List parody called Schneider's List, based on the character from the sitcom One Day at a Time
An ATM dispenses items other than money, such as taxis, advice, and photos with NBC celebrities
Folks watch absurdly interactive TV, where viewers can do wild things with a remote.
A bona-fide emergency happens on the set of ER and disasters ensue.
The joke, if there was one, was on me. I hadn't watched SNL regularly since Emily Litella was a recurrent character, so I had no idea whether these ideas for skits would have made any sense for the show. I was surprised the day after I dropped off the package when I didn't hear back. I was disappointed the second day. By the third day, I was on to the next scheme.
eric seiger dermatologist
eric seiger dermatology
<b>News</b> of the World: The Best for <b>News</b>, Showbiz and Sport Exclusives <b>...</b>
Britain's biggest-selling newspaper featuring the best news, showbiz and sport exclusives - updated 24/7. videos and pictures of celebrities, the latest entertainment and sport news from the News of The World.
msnbc <b>news</b> | TrendyTwits
mediabistro.com'Joe' hosts get dramaticVarietyMika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough, anchors of MSNBC's 'Morning Joe,' are developing an.
Sam's Club to offer iPhone, iPad | iLounge <b>News</b>
iLounge news discussing the Sam's Club to offer iPhone, iPad. Find more iPad news from leading independent iPod, iPhone, and iPad site.
Dr. eric seiger
eric seiger
<b>News</b> of the World: The Best for <b>News</b>, Showbiz and Sport Exclusives <b>...</b>
Britain's biggest-selling newspaper featuring the best news, showbiz and sport exclusives - updated 24/7. videos and pictures of celebrities, the latest entertainment and sport news from the News of The World.
msnbc <b>news</b> | TrendyTwits
mediabistro.com'Joe' hosts get dramaticVarietyMika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough, anchors of MSNBC's 'Morning Joe,' are developing an.
Sam's Club to offer iPhone, iPad | iLounge <b>News</b>
iLounge news discussing the Sam's Club to offer iPhone, iPad. Find more iPad news from leading independent iPod, iPhone, and iPad site.
eric seiger
<b>News</b> of the World: The Best for <b>News</b>, Showbiz and Sport Exclusives <b>...</b>
Britain's biggest-selling newspaper featuring the best news, showbiz and sport exclusives - updated 24/7. videos and pictures of celebrities, the latest entertainment and sport news from the News of The World.
msnbc <b>news</b> | TrendyTwits
mediabistro.com'Joe' hosts get dramaticVarietyMika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough, anchors of MSNBC's 'Morning Joe,' are developing an.
Sam's Club to offer iPhone, iPad | iLounge <b>News</b>
iLounge news discussing the Sam's Club to offer iPhone, iPad. Find more iPad news from leading independent iPod, iPhone, and iPad site.
skin
and vein center
<b>News</b> of the World: The Best for <b>News</b>, Showbiz and Sport Exclusives <b>...</b>
Britain's biggest-selling newspaper featuring the best news, showbiz and sport exclusives - updated 24/7. videos and pictures of celebrities, the latest entertainment and sport news from the News of The World.
msnbc <b>news</b> | TrendyTwits
mediabistro.com'Joe' hosts get dramaticVarietyMika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough, anchors of MSNBC's 'Morning Joe,' are developing an.
Sam's Club to offer iPhone, iPad | iLounge <b>News</b>
iLounge news discussing the Sam's Club to offer iPhone, iPad. Find more iPad news from leading independent iPod, iPhone, and iPad site.
how to lose weight fast big seminar 14
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Britain's biggest-selling newspaper featuring the best news, showbiz and sport exclusives - updated 24/7. videos and pictures of celebrities, the latest entertainment and sport news from the News of The World.
msnbc <b>news</b> | TrendyTwits
mediabistro.com'Joe' hosts get dramaticVarietyMika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough, anchors of MSNBC's 'Morning Joe,' are developing an.
Sam's Club to offer iPhone, iPad | iLounge <b>News</b>
iLounge news discussing the Sam's Club to offer iPhone, iPad. Find more iPad news from leading independent iPod, iPhone, and iPad site.
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Many people start making money online with affiliate marketing. For a beginner, the easiest affiliate marketing program is ClickBank. You can produce your own product to sell on ClickBank or promote the products of other sellers. There are over 10,000 products listed on the ClickBank website. When you become an affiliate, you choose products from their list to promote. When you promote a product, you'll be given a personalized ClickBank affiliate link, and every time there's a sale that was referred from your link, you'll earn a commission. A successful ClickBank affiliate can make hundreds or thousands of dollars per month. There are many ways to promote the products; affiliates use their own websites, blogs, marketing articles, and other resources to promote ClickBank products.
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You're selling every time that you interact with another person. You're selling yourself when you interview for a job. You're selling yourself when you're trying to pick up an attractive woman (or man). You're selling every single day, every time you have a conversation, every time you try to persuade another person to do what you want.
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Learn more about making money online.
Source:
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<b>News</b> of the World: The Best for <b>News</b>, Showbiz and Sport Exclusives <b>...</b>
Britain's biggest-selling newspaper featuring the best news, showbiz and sport exclusives - updated 24/7. videos and pictures of celebrities, the latest entertainment and sport news from the News of The World.
msnbc <b>news</b> | TrendyTwits
mediabistro.com'Joe' hosts get dramaticVarietyMika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough, anchors of MSNBC's 'Morning Joe,' are developing an.
Sam's Club to offer iPhone, iPad | iLounge <b>News</b>
iLounge news discussing the Sam's Club to offer iPhone, iPad. Find more iPad news from leading independent iPod, iPhone, and iPad site.
big seminar 14
<b>News</b> of the World: The Best for <b>News</b>, Showbiz and Sport Exclusives <b>...</b>
Britain's biggest-selling newspaper featuring the best news, showbiz and sport exclusives - updated 24/7. videos and pictures of celebrities, the latest entertainment and sport news from the News of The World.
msnbc <b>news</b> | TrendyTwits
mediabistro.com'Joe' hosts get dramaticVarietyMika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough, anchors of MSNBC's 'Morning Joe,' are developing an.
Sam's Club to offer iPhone, iPad | iLounge <b>News</b>
iLounge news discussing the Sam's Club to offer iPhone, iPad. Find more iPad news from leading independent iPod, iPhone, and iPad site.
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