Making Money Job

If you’ve ever been to Iceland, you probably noticed that there are no old people there.  My personal theory is that they throw old people into tar pits like on The Dinosaurs. But if you ask any Icelanders where there hell everybody over 40 is, they’ll usually shrug or laugh or give some non-committal answer like “they‘re around,” mainly because they don’t actually know. Similarly, nobody knows for sure what happens seven years down the road to all the first years that started. Because even if you tally up all the farewell emails, a few of your co-workers will remain unaccounted for, in the tomb of the unknown lawyer…

id="more-41206">

A lot of your missing brethren will of course have been pushed out or stealthily laid off; but probably an equal amount will have to do other, more rewarding things, like abscond with partners from foreign offices, quit to start baked goods businesses, become legal bloggers, go back to school, hang out a shingle, hang out a shingle because they work as roofers, marry rich, find God, get pregnant, have mental breakdowns, etc. Only the spectacularly lazy can go six or seven years at a firm and not find a single more rewarding, somewhat remunerative job somewhere out there, because they’re everywhere.  For instance, The Container Store is now hiring.

What is truly ridiculous about your question is that you seem to think that lateraling out of your firm is a now-or-never bet. As if you stay one day beyond being a third year, no firm will ever take you. As if  you’re a 30-year-old blogger with a $4,000 credit limit who goes to pet lifestyle events. Luckily, you haven’t sunk that low yet. If you grow tired in a year or two – or ten – of making a crap income for slave labor at your cheap firm, you can always lateral if you’re good at your job and/or a rainmaker. There’s no point in lateraling now when you have three skills; wait until you know how to do something other than send around the dial-in. Or at least until you’ve got a higher credit limit.

Your friend,

Marin

HOMER: Wow, Mr. Burns, you’re the richest man in the world! You own everything!/> MR. BURNS: Ah, yes, but I’d give it all away to have just a little bit more.

Look brother, I understand that it can be tough living in this city unless you have money pouring out of your ears. Trust me, I get it. But come on man, you’re talking about throwing away a good, secure job and a pleasant lifestyle for a couple of extra dollars. During a recession? Why would you do that?

I’m not going to tell you that money can’t buy happiness. That’s clearly false; I don’t care how badly Cliff Lee embarrasses me on national television, I’d still trade places with Derek Jeter or Alex Rodriguez (or their agents) in a second.

So sure, more money might make you happier. Bur chasing money to the exclusion of all else could make you significantly more sad. I’m saying that you might easily find that you are now using your money induced happiness to replace the happiness you used to derive from: coming home at a reasonable hour, working with nice people, feeling like you are something more than a faceless cog in the machine, and having your colleagues treat you with respect. Could banging Minka Kelly make up for that? Almost certainly! But it’s not like trading up for an extra $30K a pop is going to suddenly make you (ahem) rich enough to pull those kinds of perks.

At the end of the day, you’re just going to be the same lawyer who has a little more money in your pocket.

I don’t think it’s worth it dude, but I’m also the guy who left a lot of cash on the table to start down this path. Maybe you should ask somebody who has fully sold out whether or not the extra cash fills the gaping hole where their soul used to be? I’m not exactly friends with him, but I can give you LeBron James’s phone number if you want to talk about this a little more./> – Jane Jacobs

style="text-decoration: underline;">Ed. note: Have a question for next week? Send it in to advice@abovethelaw.com.

Suffice it to say, Hailey Glassman was unmoved by Jon Gosselin's apology yesterday, during which he Tweeted a long attempt to "clarify a few things."

In exclusive interview with Radar Online, the former girlfriend of the father of eight (who's now dating Ellen Ross) gives us her take on his comments.

Hailey Glassman said Jon's seemingly heartfelt apology to Kate and his children is nothing but a "negotiating tactic to gain sympathy from the public."

LOL WUT: Hailey can't believe Jon's latest nonsense.

"I am acutely aware of the mistakes I made ... and ashamed of choices I made," Jon Tweeted. "I have apologized to Kate, my family, and my friends."

Yeah. About that. Hailey claims Jon lied so much during their relationship that his "life coach" actually called her and told her to "accept his lying."

Otherwise, the coach posited, he'd never be capable of telling the truth.

"Jon Gosselin, oh Jon G, when are you going to learn, if you truly care STOP GOING TO THE MEDIA oh excuse me even worse TWITTER about your family," Hails responded, somewhat validly. "All I have to say about him is SAME OLD JON."

"He truly should get real help and not his 'life coach' who I know ... she even called my family and spoke to my parents about Jon to tell us to 'accept his lying and not get mad at him for it because he will then never tell the truth.'

"If she was such a great 'life coach' (lol at life coach) she would help Jon get real help so he can then be chemically balanced. He swoones her like he does all his naive girlfriends: a.k.a. I know me being one of them in the past."

"JUST GO AWAY, oh and 'lastly'- PAY ME MY MONEY JON."

Hailey then offers some life coaching advice of her own:

"Here Jon, even though you still have not paid me my $200,000 back yet, I consulted with an attorney and have another 2 years to sue you but since I'm such a good person I will give you free life coaching right now:

1. Get a job so you can rejoin society and stop living in your own little world off your ex wife and children's money. It's extremely unhealthy how you live Jon."
2. Stop making excuses for everything and always blaming others, take responsibility."
3. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THEN WORDS, you can talk the talk all you want but if you consistently pull the same statements and kvetching, year after year obviously the world knows you are a liar and nothing that comes out of your mouth is true. If you told the world at this point the sky was blue people would probably go outside to make sure, because you have proven yourself a liar consistently, and throughout the 7 years I have known you, you have always been a liar.
4. IF YOU TELL THE TRUTH YOU NEVER HAVE TO REMEMBER WHAT YOU TOLD WHAT TO BECAUSE IT'S THE TRUTH SO IT SHOULD ALWAYS BE THE SAME.
5. Everything Happens For a Reason.

I hope you one day truly do seek the real treatment you and I know you need. The first step is admitting you have a problem and well you're a pathological liar so I can see how the first step would probably be hard for you.

I hope you get help. The only person hurting your children is you Jon."

Someone's not getting a holiday card this year, we're guessing ...

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If you’ve ever been to Iceland, you probably noticed that there are no old people there.  My personal theory is that they throw old people into tar pits like on The Dinosaurs. But if you ask any Icelanders where there hell everybody over 40 is, they’ll usually shrug or laugh or give some non-committal answer like “they‘re around,” mainly because they don’t actually know. Similarly, nobody knows for sure what happens seven years down the road to all the first years that started. Because even if you tally up all the farewell emails, a few of your co-workers will remain unaccounted for, in the tomb of the unknown lawyer…

id="more-41206">

A lot of your missing brethren will of course have been pushed out or stealthily laid off; but probably an equal amount will have to do other, more rewarding things, like abscond with partners from foreign offices, quit to start baked goods businesses, become legal bloggers, go back to school, hang out a shingle, hang out a shingle because they work as roofers, marry rich, find God, get pregnant, have mental breakdowns, etc. Only the spectacularly lazy can go six or seven years at a firm and not find a single more rewarding, somewhat remunerative job somewhere out there, because they’re everywhere.  For instance, The Container Store is now hiring.

What is truly ridiculous about your question is that you seem to think that lateraling out of your firm is a now-or-never bet. As if you stay one day beyond being a third year, no firm will ever take you. As if  you’re a 30-year-old blogger with a $4,000 credit limit who goes to pet lifestyle events. Luckily, you haven’t sunk that low yet. If you grow tired in a year or two – or ten – of making a crap income for slave labor at your cheap firm, you can always lateral if you’re good at your job and/or a rainmaker. There’s no point in lateraling now when you have three skills; wait until you know how to do something other than send around the dial-in. Or at least until you’ve got a higher credit limit.

Your friend,

Marin

HOMER: Wow, Mr. Burns, you’re the richest man in the world! You own everything!/> MR. BURNS: Ah, yes, but I’d give it all away to have just a little bit more.

Look brother, I understand that it can be tough living in this city unless you have money pouring out of your ears. Trust me, I get it. But come on man, you’re talking about throwing away a good, secure job and a pleasant lifestyle for a couple of extra dollars. During a recession? Why would you do that?

I’m not going to tell you that money can’t buy happiness. That’s clearly false; I don’t care how badly Cliff Lee embarrasses me on national television, I’d still trade places with Derek Jeter or Alex Rodriguez (or their agents) in a second.

So sure, more money might make you happier. Bur chasing money to the exclusion of all else could make you significantly more sad. I’m saying that you might easily find that you are now using your money induced happiness to replace the happiness you used to derive from: coming home at a reasonable hour, working with nice people, feeling like you are something more than a faceless cog in the machine, and having your colleagues treat you with respect. Could banging Minka Kelly make up for that? Almost certainly! But it’s not like trading up for an extra $30K a pop is going to suddenly make you (ahem) rich enough to pull those kinds of perks.

At the end of the day, you’re just going to be the same lawyer who has a little more money in your pocket.

I don’t think it’s worth it dude, but I’m also the guy who left a lot of cash on the table to start down this path. Maybe you should ask somebody who has fully sold out whether or not the extra cash fills the gaping hole where their soul used to be? I’m not exactly friends with him, but I can give you LeBron James’s phone number if you want to talk about this a little more./> – Jane Jacobs

style="text-decoration: underline;">Ed. note: Have a question for next week? Send it in to advice@abovethelaw.com.

Suffice it to say, Hailey Glassman was unmoved by Jon Gosselin's apology yesterday, during which he Tweeted a long attempt to "clarify a few things."

In exclusive interview with Radar Online, the former girlfriend of the father of eight (who's now dating Ellen Ross) gives us her take on his comments.

Hailey Glassman said Jon's seemingly heartfelt apology to Kate and his children is nothing but a "negotiating tactic to gain sympathy from the public."

LOL WUT: Hailey can't believe Jon's latest nonsense.

"I am acutely aware of the mistakes I made ... and ashamed of choices I made," Jon Tweeted. "I have apologized to Kate, my family, and my friends."

Yeah. About that. Hailey claims Jon lied so much during their relationship that his "life coach" actually called her and told her to "accept his lying."

Otherwise, the coach posited, he'd never be capable of telling the truth.

"Jon Gosselin, oh Jon G, when are you going to learn, if you truly care STOP GOING TO THE MEDIA oh excuse me even worse TWITTER about your family," Hails responded, somewhat validly. "All I have to say about him is SAME OLD JON."

"He truly should get real help and not his 'life coach' who I know ... she even called my family and spoke to my parents about Jon to tell us to 'accept his lying and not get mad at him for it because he will then never tell the truth.'

"If she was such a great 'life coach' (lol at life coach) she would help Jon get real help so he can then be chemically balanced. He swoones her like he does all his naive girlfriends: a.k.a. I know me being one of them in the past."

"JUST GO AWAY, oh and 'lastly'- PAY ME MY MONEY JON."

Hailey then offers some life coaching advice of her own:

"Here Jon, even though you still have not paid me my $200,000 back yet, I consulted with an attorney and have another 2 years to sue you but since I'm such a good person I will give you free life coaching right now:

1. Get a job so you can rejoin society and stop living in your own little world off your ex wife and children's money. It's extremely unhealthy how you live Jon."
2. Stop making excuses for everything and always blaming others, take responsibility."
3. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THEN WORDS, you can talk the talk all you want but if you consistently pull the same statements and kvetching, year after year obviously the world knows you are a liar and nothing that comes out of your mouth is true. If you told the world at this point the sky was blue people would probably go outside to make sure, because you have proven yourself a liar consistently, and throughout the 7 years I have known you, you have always been a liar.
4. IF YOU TELL THE TRUTH YOU NEVER HAVE TO REMEMBER WHAT YOU TOLD WHAT TO BECAUSE IT'S THE TRUTH SO IT SHOULD ALWAYS BE THE SAME.
5. Everything Happens For a Reason.

I hope you one day truly do seek the real treatment you and I know you need. The first step is admitting you have a problem and well you're a pathological liar so I can see how the first step would probably be hard for you.

I hope you get help. The only person hurting your children is you Jon."

Someone's not getting a holiday card this year, we're guessing ...

Sharp to stop selling and manufacturing PCs « Akihabara <b>News</b>

To pursue its growth Akihabara News is seeking for several more editors via an intership program for 6 to 9 months. Please send us a mail @ jobs@akihabaranews.com. Message. We are moving away from Feedburner, please update your RSS ...

Lindsay Lohan Photos &amp; Pics | BREAKING <b>NEWS</b> - Lindsay Lohan Avoids <b>...</b>

Lindsay Lohan appeared before Judge Elden Fox at the Beverly Hills Courthouse this morning for her latest probation violation hearing, and it appears as though spending the last month at the Betty Ford Center helped convince the judge ...

George Soros Buys a Scalp | Right Wing <b>News</b>

Right Wing News is the best source on the net for conservative news, views, & interviews.

eric seiger eric seiger